Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
