I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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