how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
