Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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