Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
