Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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