I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i drank out of a bidet.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
