butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
