I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
