Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
