I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
