Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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