sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
