Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
