Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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