I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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