i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she told me i tasted like america
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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