According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
