She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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