i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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