Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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