Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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