The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my shit smells like andre
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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