we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
