how hairy? two words: wookie tits
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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