I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
