So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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