Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
