let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
