So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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