i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
