I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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