is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
