So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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