ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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