I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My dick has a subreddit
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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