Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
