Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
