yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
