Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
