I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize