Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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