There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
