There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
