when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
