She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
