God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
