White coat. Heels.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
