yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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