Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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