this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
