Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
