they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
BRING THE BAGELS
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
