You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
