brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the condom got lost in my hair
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
