Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
