it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
