i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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