I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
