I've blown a few things in my day
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
