so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
