Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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