Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
