she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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