I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
